Where were you...

As the  10th anniversary of  9/11  approaches, I am just remembering.
Remembering how I was getting ready for work when I saw the breaking news.  I remember how small the plane looked as it hit the first tower...( not realizing how big the Towers were)
I remember watching the news all day, crying, praying, feeling helpless.
Then weeks later... Alan Jackson said it all.... in a song....

"Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)"

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Risin' against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?

Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters?

[Chorus:]
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell
you the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her?
Did you dust off that Bible at home?

Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Or go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
Did you stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?

And the greatest is love.
And the greatest is love.
Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?
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Now I  remember this,
People died.. people came together... people prayed, and gave, and put others first...
I wish it had never happened.
I hope I never forget.

Organized religion... is so ... organized

Does anyone else ever feel like we get so caught up in church, that, we FORGET.... Church is not a "place we go".. it is a "what we are"?
I suppose this might sound like I am being a malcontent.  I'm not.  I love my church, love going, love the fellowship.  However, ....
Most Sundays I leave feeling... inadequate.. and maybe a little schizophrenic.
I am told God loves me passionately... but if I'm not on top of (whatever the weeks sermon is dealing with) my game..well, I must be a huge disappointment to God.  so He loves me....IF.
I am going out on a huge limb here, and I hope excommunication is not in my future..I am not saying I don't want to be a part of the place I go to worship, but,
sometimes I am so busy going to church... so busy trying to figure out how I can be a better member, so caught up with the inadequecies of my life as a believer.... 
I feel far away from the reason I even went to church to begin with.  (Are you starting to see the psychosis?)
Jesus left us with a new commandment~~~ "love one another, as I have loved you".. "by this people will know you are my disciples, if you love one another" [John 13: 34-35]
Thats it.. love one another. 
He didn't say to organize Sunday school, have more bible studies, show up for every service, have church business meetings,  get everything organized, alphabetized, and so on... (and I am not against any of this per se)
He said "love one another"
I guess what I am really thinking is, if we spent more time loving, and less time organizing religion we might be less frustrated and more productive in our journey. 
Does anyone else have input?... I would love to hear some thoughts..

Through other eyes

I love that I have someone in my life with "new" faith.  Really her faith isn't new, but, she has recently started "growing by leaps and bounds" spiritually.  ( That is a direct quote)
This person doesn't have great biblical knowledge, she isn't caught up in a doctorine, she doesn't even have a home church.  She has this one thing.. FAITH that God is doing something in her life.  FAITH that even though her heart has been beaten and battered, God has a plan. 
She isn't concerned with knowing the bible inside out, and, she says she talks to God like He's her therapist. ( I love that!!)   She feels such love and peace from her relationship with God, she wants to shout it to everyone she knows, she wants them to have this same free gift that she has...
I talk to this treasure in my life, and I am thinking how lucky I am!  I get to experience the wonder of God through someone elses eyes. 
Today, this lovely, lovable person, called me and said, "Ask me how I'm doing"
I was almost afraid, but I asked anyway!  "How are you doing?"  Her reply was " Fantastic!!  I am blessed and highly favored!"  This is her response even while she is facing some major giants in her life. 
  There is such peace and joy in her life, it is literally bubbling over and touching me, and many others in ways she will never know.....
Thank You Lord.  I too am blessed and highly favored!

Footsteps in a new direction

Today, I went to my old home church to say good bye to someone I met nine years ago.
Let me back track... As of this posting I attend a Baptist church.  I did attend a Methodist church for several years, and it was there I met my friend Rick Sitton.
  In a Baptist church, pastors only leave if they die, retire, get mad or voted out.. but the Methodist denomination will move pastors to different churches at their discretion.  This is not really a bad thing, just slightly painful sometimes.
I remember Pastor Rick's very first sermon, and I will not soon forget his last at Woodcrest UMC.  In both, he talked about "feet".  Nine years ago, he was walking into something, and today he was walking away from a church that he loved and that loved him.  He encouraged the church to keep walking in Christ,
He reminded us that he had only been the pastor, Woodcrest will still be Woodcrest.  Our eyes need to stay focused on Jesus, and our feet need to follow Jesus.
A lot has happened in the nine years since I met this sweet man of God.  Though one thing remains the same... Jesus is still the head of the church.  We may not all be pastors, but we are all ministers.
(I learned that from Pastor Rick)
Odds are, I wont see Rick Sitton again on this side of heaven.... but see him again I will!!
I wish I could thank him for the many things he taught me and helped me though, but, there are simply no words I feel would be adequate for this situation.   Ok.. maybe  "thank you" is appropriate, but still not adequate. 
I also was blessed today, to watch this Pastor baptize, welcome new members, and finally, his last act as pastor, communion.  As I walked forward and recieved the bread and wine,, (the Body and the Blood) I felt blessed to be served by this man and his wife.  Joyfully I realized, while circumstances change, and pastors get relocated... divorce happens, marriages, births, and deaths. Earthly things will change... but God will not.  Communion will never mean something different, it will always be about "remembering" what was done for us.
So really..... what a day!   And as I  finally stop rambling, I am thrilled to realize, addresses and circumstances change, but this is not really a new "beginning" for Pastor Rick, it is simply a continuation of  footsteps that follow our Lord.

What I am

I am a singer, I am a hairstylist, I am a wife, I am a mother, I am many things.  Seriously though, of everything I am, the most important thing, is LOVED.  I am loved.  I am adored by the very one who created me.  I  can't do anything to lose His love, because, I never did anything to gain His love.
Here is the thing though, I was raised in a "religious" enviroment.  Now  religion  is not a bad thing.  It is actually a truly AWFUL thing.  Religion will take you where love can not.  Religion told me if I loved God, I would live a holy life.  Love taught me, I could never be "holy" enough and I could never manage to be good enough on my own.. I am righteous through Jesus.  The blood Jesus shed, the blood that washes away  my sin, that blood is what God sees when He looks at me.  Quite simply, when God looks at me... He sees Jesus.
So I am learning, I can't love what I fear.  I am learning, to chose the love that I was given.  To be able to shout from the inner recesses of my heart...I AM LOVED !